Questioner: Is being Total and being Here is very much the same?
Rajee: Remember that being Here and being Total are not different with each other but in both the cases there are some things to be understood or you can say we need to be alert about, because many people have this experience that “ I am just Here “ and yet their life is not free from sense of suffering. When you are Here, you are actually free from suffering and once you are free from suffering, you will learn that,” If I don’t go away from here, I can never suffer.” Then you will not go from here and then you will never suffer but those – I hear from my students and other friends, they are saying, “ yes I understand what is the meaning of being Here and I am being Here continuously“ and they are still suffering. Suffering is not when you are shouting ‘Oh my life is hell’ Suffering is also when you have confusion. Confusion which holds, which can hold you, which can kind of hold your existence, which can stop you from living life – anything which can stop you from living life is suffering in a form of being hostage. This is suffering, even sometimes it can be very lightweight. You are in the heaven of your own self, silent and peaceful and yet some thought comes, feeling comes, it kind of spoils the whole sweetness. This is a form of suffering only.
So remember this.
There are many possibilities we must begin with and you must see. Your mind will be highlighted more and more, which is giving the impression that ‘ I am Here’ but actually it is not Here. When you are Here what does it mean? Let me tell you all. In reality, the meaning of being Here is being Wholeness of Life. You are not trying to be here, you are Already and Always Here, this Here-ness is not the experience of body and mind. It is the experience of beyond-ness which experiences itself as the very presence of life in all the times, in all the places, all the spaces also.
So this being Here is just the beginning, What we know as being Here is just a beginning. Being Here also means being Total. Being Total also means being responsible. You don’t dismiss anything, being responsible also means undivided. you don’t stop acting in life. You do very reasonably respond to life events in a very human way, you do everything but without being divided. This is the thing that I am trying to teach all of you, to integrate yourself. Don’t let your mind believe that you are divided. For the team we have this opportunity that you can learn this in the Sangha work. Because work is what gives us most strong experience of not being alive, not being joyful, you know like this. So this you have to overcome. If you overcome this, you are really in a very nice state you can say.
Being Here in essence is claiming back your stillness which never moves. Once claimed you never lose (smiles). It and now you know that I move and I don’t move at the same time. What moves is an appearance in the stillness which does not move. It’s a much bigger knowledge than we think at first, you know? It is end of ignorance of any form. You don’t have to remove ignorance after this, there is no ignorance left after this actually. You have come HOME completely HERE.
(Excerpts from Spontaneous talks on Totality Part 2, at Candolim Goa April 2018)